13 Thoughts Headed Into the Weekend

1. This mustache craze has gotten way, WAY out of hand. Can anyone tell me how/when/why this happened? And is it happening in other cities besides Nashville?

2. Why even bother going to the YMCA if you’re going to take the elevator to the second floor treadmills? That’s like bringing a flask to an AA meeting.

3. I knew this day would come but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. And I think I can honestly say without hyperbole that I’ve never wanted something as badly for someone (someone I didn’t know personally, I mean) as I want a World Series for Chipper in his final year. He’s never been my favorite Brave, but there’s something about the patriarchal role he’s taken on in the last couple of years that has really endeared him to me (go HERE for another great article).

Also, I can’t believe I’m already this emotionally involved with still more than two weeks before opening day. It looks like I’m gonna be a wreck for the next six (and hopefully seven) months.

4. Of the two expressions “it’s all downhill from here” and its converse, “it’s all uphill from here,” which one are we supposed to use to convey that “the worst is over and our situation will begin to improve”? I seem to hear the two used interchangeably and they can’t BOTH be correct. I could make an argument for either, however: the former is practical, saying “we’ve worked hard to get over the hump, now gravity will take over and things will be easier,” while the latter is emotional, employing the word “up” and its inherent optimism (‘up’ward, ‘up’lifting, building ‘up’, moving ‘up’, etc.) to elicit feelings of hope and relief (as opposed to the negative associations of “down”: feeling ‘down,” ‘down’ in the dumps, ‘down’ward spiral, etc.).

Like I said: they can’t both be correct, can they? So, which one should I be using? Please advise.

Which reminds me, did you know “biweekly” can mean both twice a week AND every two weeks? And that “cleave” is its own antonym? And that “regardless” and “irregardless” mean the exact same damn thing?

5. I heard that Deathcab for Cutie song “I Will Follow You Into the Dark” yesterday for the first time in years. Up until now, I thought the last verse said “You and me have seen everything to see/ from Bangkok to Calvary,” which I always thought was a nice, subtle tie-in with the religious undertones of the rest of the song, particularly the second verse. Hearing that line again yesterday, I know now that its “Calgary,” not “Calvary,” which makes me an idiot.

Irregardless, it’s a great song, one of the many out there that I wish I had written.

6. I thought my dad was going to go into conniptions after seeing the language I used in yesterday’s post about my dust-up on the golf course. Instead, he sent me a text that read “Well to be honest, I thought it was pretty relevant and well done. I’m afraid I might have forced him to eat a 7 iron.”

7. What the fuck kind of band name is Deathcab for Cutie, anyway? Again, sorry Dad.

8. If I hear one more person say “that’s my jam” I’m gonna freak out.

9. Much to my chagrin, Wisconsin went down last night. Still, maybe now Ryan Evans will reconsider bringing back the box haircut, a la Mr. Ewing.

10. Sometimes I need an ear and just an ear, not an ear and lips.

11. I just saw some girl walking her dog. The pants she was wearing had the word “PINK” stretched across the ass in huge capital letters. The pants were green. I don’t understand.

12. Speaking of capital letters, when texting with all-caps to emphasize a particular word or phrase, why does my phone’s auto-correct function switch off? My thumbs need help, even when they’re shouting.

13. Don’t forget about next weekend’s show in Atlanta! Saturday, March 31, at the Five Spot in Little Five Points. The whole night is a celebration of The Bitteroots new CD, “Central of Georgia.” I’ll play a short solo set before joining Mike Killeen and the Dregs as a one-night-only band member. The Bitteroots will follow and close out the evening.

Have a great weekend,


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