1. I’m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let’s start with typewriters.” -Frank Lloyd Wright
Or in my case, a keyboard.
2. First, the Braves’ season (and Chipper’s career) ends with a loss in a one-game playoff clouded in controversy over a highly questionable infield fly call. Then, the Dawgs come within five yards and a spiked football away from being SEC champs and playing for the National Championship. Then, after jumping out to a 17-0 lead, the Falcons fail to score a single point in the second half and piss away a spot in the Superbowl.
Now I know I’m being punished.
Farewell, Martin. You’ll always have a special place in my heart (and on my back).
3. While it’s true I’m inconsolable over the loss of Prado, I won’t pretend this isn’t hilarious:
4. I have a confession to make: I led you all to believe that last week’s hibachi chef photo was one I took myself, when I actually I found it through a simple Google search. You see, I had taken some great shots of my chef but accidentally deleted them while auditing the nearly 1,700 photos stored in (on?) my phone, but still felt that my hibachi commentary needed a visual aid. So, I found one, used it, and misrepresented myself in the process.
5. I love the smell of bleach, but not nearly as much as this lady.
6. I passed this church on the way to what I hope will be my new house.
The “Jesus Only” Tabernacle? Whatever happened to the Holy Trinity? I’ve been out of the game too long.
7. I’ve always thought Bill Maher…
…looked a bit like Pepe Le Pew.
Would you disagree?
8. Last night I dreamed that I was riding in the back of a car driven by Dan Patrick. I wanted to ask him if he ever missed working at ESPN but was terrified to ask him such an unoriginal question. Next thing I knew, I was walking on the side of Lexington Road in Athens, Ga, with hundreds of needles buried in my arms just beneath the skin. I knew I had miles to go before getting home. Every time I stopped to dig out a needle, I’d look up to find that I was standing in the middle of the road, right on the yellow line.
What does this mean?
I was twelve when the original came out, and to be honest, these are the only three things I remember.
10. I’m determined to start reading again. I picked up Bluebeard by Kurt Vonnegut (my hero), and believe it or not I’m finding it… difficult. Not because I’ve forgotten how to read, but because I’ve forgotten how to pay attention to anything for more than five seconds.
I used to read a new book every couple of weeks, but I haven’t finished one in years and that makes me sad.
11. I finally got my new bowling ball yesterday (thanks Lindz!).
The make and model or whatever is “Arson Pearl” but I haven’t decided on just what to name her. I better come up with something quick, though, or I’ll start to feel bad about plunging three fingers up in her for a couple of hours at a time then tossing her back in the closet.
12. Somewhere in North Carolina, my brother is rolling his eyes at me.
13. An exchange I just had with Lindsey:
L: Does your mom know you blog?
Me: I don’t think so.
L: If she were to read it, would she think you’re totally gone?
Me: Most likely.
L: Would it make her cry?
Me: I’m almost certain.
Now that makes me sad.
Have a great weekend,